There’s a moment that happens to a lot of people in Medellín. You land in El Poblado because every blog, influencer, and YouTube thumbnail tells you to. You spend three days drinking overpriced cocktails under neon signs while someone from Ohio explains “the real Colombia” to another tourist from Germany. Eventually you realize you crossed an ocean just to sit in a district that feels like a Miami startup conference with reggaeton.

Planning your first trip to Medellín, Colombia and wondering where to stay? Sensible question. Nothing says “vacation success” like accidentally booking a noisy room three miles uphill with no metro access and a rooster named Carlos outside your window.